Insanity2
by calladragon
Summary: A short piece picking up where Insanity left off.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you for the favorites, reviews, and messages since I disappeared. I really miss all of you. I'm still alive and I haven't given up on finishing my stories. I've been occupied with my full time job and original writings. I started writing a fresh, totally new 70,000 word contemporary romance in February. I'm almost finished with my editing. Hopefully, I'll have it out before the end of next month. August at the latest. After that, I'll probably take a break and update some of my fanfics before I start the next novel.

After 30+ years of spinning stories in the shadows, it's time to get some of original stuff out there. I'm sure those old novels will get resuscitated and see the light of day one day. Just probably in a fresh new format. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm getting my toes back in the water with something short (2-3 chapters) and sweet without much substance. I'll update you where I'm going from here. ~Calla

"Shit." Lisbon declared out loud looking at her reflection in the mirror. "Shit, shit, shit. We are so busted."

Exiting the bathroom with a towel around his waist, Jane was surprised at his wife's choice of words. Lisbon wasn't much for expletives and everyone knew it. In fact, she had the cleanest mouth of anyone he knew in Law Enforcement. About the only person who could drive her to cursing was him. Or, in this case, the not-so-dreaded "Spawn of Jane" as she'd taken to calling their offspring during her most virulent bouts of morning sickness.

"You think?" Jane walked up behind her to wrap his arms around her. "All I can say is it's about time."

"Yeah?" Lisbon snorted staring at the pronounced curve of her belly through her dark t-shirt. "You're not the one who has to deal with the fall-out."

"Really?" Jane quirked a brow at her. "I beg to differ with you. Anyone who comes after you is dealing with me."

"I don't want that." Lisbon said quietly "Let me handle it."

"What are you going to do?" Jane rubbed her belly. "Refuse to name the father? Make our co-workers think you conceived by some nameless lover who dumped you when he found out you were pregnant? That's not going to happen. You're my wife and that's my kid in here. There's no way in heaven or hell I'm letting them think some bastard knocked you up and deserted you."

"And I'm not letting them split us up." Lisbon said quietly. "We've managed to make it over two months without anyone realizing we're married much less that we have a baby on board. I'm not giving up now."

Truthfully, nobody knew they'd ever dated. Yes, there was talk; but, the proof was lacking. Things were much as they'd been at the CBI. While people thought they were undercover lovers, nobody called them on it. The risk of having their own dirty secrets exposed was far too great when Jane was involved. That didn't mean they didn't talk around the water cooler. It also didn't mean the boys and girls in Cyber Crimes weren't taking bets on the nature of their relationship. They were and they had been from the start. Shaking her head in disgust, Lisbon wondered briefly who was going to win the Kitty.

It so better not be Cho.

Turning her attention back to Jane, she smiled half-heartedly at him. Nothing had really changed that much since they'd gotten married. They hadn't sold the R.V. and Jane hadn't moved in with her. Not hardly. In fact, nothing had changed all that much from the way it was except they'd had the ceremony and received the paper declaring them legal. She hadn't changed her license or her banking information although she would now.

Truthfully, they didn't even live together. Not really. Yeah, Jane stayed over at her place once in a while. That was nothing new. He'd always done that. She even stayed in his sardine can in the boonies once in a while. However, they didn't do either too often. It was a small enough sacrifice to keep their secret as long as they could and so far it worked.

H.R. hadn't come knocking and Abbott hadn't called them into his office. Nor had anyone attacked them with invasive questions they hadn't wanted to answer. All Lisbon could think was so far so good. Or she had until this weekend. Unfortunately, Jane's Spawn had chosen now to pop without warning. As much as she wanted to say, "son" she couldn't. So far, the identifying baby parts had stayed hidden no matter how hard the Tech tried to uncover the truth. Smirking, Lisbon admitted she hadn't expected anything different.

Not with Jane for a father.

"Yeah, well, the free ride's over." Jane hugged her tightly. "You're heading towards your third trimester and you suddenly look it. We can probably thank your morning sickness for the delay."

"Maybe." Lisbon stared at herself in the mirror deciding she looked every bit of six months gone. "But, that's mostly over which might be the problem. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. My jacket isn't going to hide this anymore. Neither are loose shirts. Those few extra pounds I've gained over the last few weeks have suddenly settled front and center over the past couple of days."

"That's not the only placed they've settled." Ignoring the expected eye roll he got in response, Jane studied her deciding he liked the changes. "Hey, I don't have a problem with more generous curves even if you do."

"I don't have a problem with any of it." Lisbon stated quietly even though she wanted to smack him. "But, other people will. We should have come clean at the start."

"Why?" Jane asked. "You know they would have split us up."

Which is exactly why they'd rethought their original plan of walking in the next day with rings shining to take on the world. While Jane would have done it, Lisbon couldn't handle the thought of being on the losing end of the battle and she wasn't positive Abbott would prevent that from happening. Yes, that disc was a powerful bargaining tool. But, it might not be powerful enough. When push came to shove, she hadn't wanted to chance it. Jane had given in to her fears. Against his better judgement, he'd agreed to hide the truth as long as they could. Truthfully, the silly jerk had relished the challenge once they got into the game and it was thanks to his shifty ways that they'd succeeded this long.

Unfortunately, nature was against them and biology ensured they failed in the end.

"Maybe." Lisbon agreed. "It's going to happen anyway. With hindsight all we've done is delay the inevitable."

"Perhaps." Jane stroked her back reassuringly. "If it happens, it happens. The separation will be easier to handle for both of us since I'm sure you'll be at a desk a lot more than you'll be in the field from now on."

He'd see to that one way or the other.

"That makes me feel a lot better considering where you'll be." Lisbon stared at him earnestly. "If you think I'm letting you run amok in the field without me, get over it. That's so not happening."

"If you think I'm letting you out in the field on a dangerous case," Jane didn't need to complete the thought but he did. "That isn't happening either. I won't lose another wife and child."

"No, you won't." Lisbon agreed. "But, I don't want you going off half-cocked like you did with that drug cartel. I won't live through something like that again. It wouldn't be good for me or the baby."

"No, it wouldn't and I won't." Jane reassured her. "I gave you my word and I meant it."

"You might have meant it at the time; but, I know those same guys have approached you a couple of times since." Lisbon stated firmly. "I saw them leaving headquarters and I figured they'd come to see you. Abbott confirmed it."

"They did and I turned them down." Jane admitted what he hadn't thought she knew. "While I don't mind advising them, I won't go under cover again. I didn't know what I was getting into then. I do now. I wouldn't put either of us through that again if you weren't pregnant."

"That's good to know." Walking over to her jewelry box, Lisbon removed their rings and carried them to her husband. "We might as well get this show on the road before we're late. The quicker the crap hits the fan, the quicker it'll all be over."

"You have a point there." Sliding her band on her finger, Jane held his hand out for Lisbon to do the same. "We aren't taking these off again and I'm not leaving after tonight."

"No you aren't." Lisbon agreed leaning in for a kiss. "But you are getting ready for work. I don't want add being late to our crimes. I think this will be enough to start the ball rolling," Lisbon rested her palm against her belly. "Without anyone seeing this." She wiggled her finger and smiled at the light reflecting off her rings.

"I think you're probably right." Jane wiggled his own finger. "Why don't you go down and start breakfast. I'll be down in a few."

"I'll do that." Lisbon grabbed her jacket from over a chair. "The kettle should be ready about the time you're done."

Watching her leave the room, Jane removed his towel and started getting dressed. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he was as reluctant as Lisbon to go into HQ today. Abbott and the FBI weren't nearly as easy to handle as the CBI had been. For one thing, they weren't nearly as corrupt or as easy to blackmail. For another, he respected his boss in a way he'd never respected Bertram. He hadn't wanted to keep their marriage a secret; but, Lisbon had and he'd honored her wishes. Somehow, he had a feeling he was going to pay for that now.

Time would tell.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone,

This isn't a new chapter. It's more of an update. I'm still out here and I'm still writing. I'll have Chapter 2 of Insanity2 up later this week. I'm hoping to pick up the rest of my stories like Passing The Point of No Return on a semi-regular basis in the near future.

The past couple of years have been pretty rough in terms of real life interfering with my muse and I sincerely apologize for that.

In February of this year I started a new novel rather than trying to resurrect the old novels I've talked about over the years. As of last night the ebook is on Amazon. It was past time to put up or shut up about being a writer. It doesn't matter how many novels you write if no ever sees them!

I won't claim it's the great American novel - just a fairly light Contemporary Romance with characters I hope my readers can identify with. If you want to check it out, it's A Necessary Convenience by Tori Lennox.

If you'd like to let me know which Mentalist stories you still have an interest in seeing finished, I'll see what I can do about getting a chapter up here and there. I won't promise it'll be fast since I'm already starting the next novel which will be a Romantic Suspense followed by a Historical that's about halfway finished. Actually, the Historical may be first and the Romantic Suspense next. We'll have to see which way the wind blows. I will promise to update stories a few times a month.

Anyways, I love all of you guys and appreciate the encouragement you've given me over the years.

~Calla

P.S.: I know I'm not supposed to write Author's notes and I'll delete this when I put up Chapter Two. It's the only way I have to communicate with any readers I still have left after my long absence so I'm taking it!


	3. Legitimate Chapter 2

I promised to update something, so here it is. I'm actually working on a couple of chapters for a couple of other stories so updates will be coming. I just can't promise when.

I'm trying to finish a romantic suspense and an historical in a timely manner so the fanfic writing will be spotty at best. The good news is it's been long enough since the show ended, I can actually look at my AU's as separate entities from The Mentalist and not feel weird since they don't fit the show's storyline in anyway. It's strange; but, knowing the ending messed with my head where finishing my fanfics was concerned.

As for my novels, they are what they are. The least I'm hoping for is to eventually have enough of a body of works out there to quite my day job. If I can do that down the road, I'll be happy. Anything more is a blessing.

Thanks for all the encouragement. It's always appreciated. ~Calla

* * *

Falling back, Jane watched Lisbon walk to her desk well aware of the attention she was attracting. While there was no denying she'd gained a few pounds over the past few months, there wasn't anything unusual about that. Especially not this time of year. Even Lisbon wasn't impervious to occassionally packing on an extra pound or two in the Holiday Season. Or so everyone thought until today.

Now they knew differently.

There was no way that particular rounding out could be interpreted as anything but what it was: the dreaded baby pooch. Lisbon's words, not his…And not that dreaded by either of them except it outted them in ways nothing else could…The jig was up and his wife wasn't fighting it…She wouldn't have worn that body skimming maternity tee accentuating her expanding curves if she was.

Watching Chloe, the self-professed leader of the Perpetually Nosey Pack, approach Lisbon's desk, Jane prepared to interceded if things got out of hand. The carrot topped, bespeckled, pinch-faced snoop was worse than a cadaver dog when she caught whiff of a "scent." She didn't let up until she got her story and she wouldn't let up on this one. It was far too juicy. Or dangerous.

Jane wasn't sure which.

From the look on her face, Lisbon might gut her adversary with a rusty butter knife in plain view before she was done. The thought was definitely crossing her mind. Fortunately, Chloe wasn't the first misguided gossip hound to approach his wife. That honor belonged to the intrepid Forensic Ghoul who worked Serial Killings. As crazy as it seemed considering he was a guy, Jane understood his daring. Harper and Lisbon were fairly close.

Not close enough to let him in on their secret.

But, close enough to hang out and have lunch together. Jane hadn't been too sure how he felt about that initially. Not until he'd noticed the wedding band and saw the man with his wife at the Feeb's Christmas Party. He might be a real creeper standing over a bloody body; but, Jedediah H. left his enthusiasm for his work at the office. Out in public, he was just another witty nerd head over heels for his bride. Strangely enough, Jane liked him. Macabre sense of humor and all. They both did. But, that didn't mean he was getting the scoop. Nothing beyond the obvious.

Yes, Lisbon had a bun in the oven…No, she wasn't telling who put it there.

Not until somebody used the brain God gave them and looked at his hand. Honestly, they'd have to look at her hand first. No-one had even noticed she was married. The women were too busy taking in her belly and the guys, well, they were too busy taking in other things. He was already tempted to smack a couple of the more flagrant gawkers up side the head. The only thing stopping him was Lisbon wouldn't appreciate his chivalry. She was more than capable fo taking care of herself. An advancing pregnancy hadn't suddenly rendered her helpless. She'd reminded of that on several occassions.

He'd wisely agreed even while carrying her to bed after a debilitating round of morning sickness.

Things were just easier that way. Fortunately, the nastiness hadn't lasted that long and Lisbon had bounced back pretty fast before anyone noticed she was under the weather. It was in their favor she usually suffered more at night than during the day anyway. It was in his favor she preferred to deal with her issues at home alone at her place. He hadn't liked it; but, he'd respected her wishes up to a point.

While they were married and secretly gestating, they weren't living together. Not openly. They couldn't. Not if they wanted to keep their secret.

They were sneaking around like two horny teenagers slipping out their bedroom windows. Personally, he didn't give a Tinker's dam what anyone thought about their romantic situation. If it was up to him, they'd have cohabitated from "I do." It wasn't. It was up to his pregnant wife so he'd fallen in line.

Their lives were stressful enough between work and sins of omission without adding to the cause.

However, all bets were off on the particularly bad days he could spot without even trying. He'd gotten to know that faint purple tinge clashing so grotesquely with the green of her eyes. On the days he spotted that tell, his formidable will quickly overrode her fear they'd get busted and Lisbon gave in without a fight. She'd snuggle down to await the inevitable knowing her other half would either invite himself over for the night or take her to his place. Jane gladly admitted he was happy he didn't have to worry about that anymore. If he'd thought Angela was bad; Lisbon was worse.

Much worse and he didn't like it.

Shaking out of his thoughts, Jane turned his attention back to the scene unfolding before him. Whatever Lisbon just growled had Chloe slinking back to her desk like a frightened rabbit. If he didn't miss his guess, he'd say that was the last time she'd be bothered for an hour or two. It would take the impatiently curious a good hour or two to gather the courage to launch round two of "Poke Lisbon with a Verbal Stick". Until then, he'd hang out and watch the floor show. Oh, and wait for the other shoe to drop. Smirking nastily, Jane had no doubts something unpleasant was hitting that fan before the day was over.

"Hello, My Dear." Jane sat on the edge of Lisbon's desk and held out the mug in his hands. "I thought you might appreciate this."

"You thought right." Standing up, Lisbon took the coffee from his hand knowing a shot of caffeine was the last thing she needed but craving it. "I thought that snake in the grass would never shut up. Chloe honestly thought she could trick me into revealing my baby's father. It would take someone smarter than her to do that. I finally offered to face plant her in the ladie's room toilet if she didn't leave me the hell alone so she slithered away."

Taking a sip of tea, Jane silently decided that would do the trick. Especially considering Chloe wouldn't know if she was serious or not. Honestly, he didn't know. Pregnancy hormones were unpredictable and Lisbon's patience was limited on a good day. Personally, he wouldn't push her nearly as far as Bunny Girl had. He'd learned that one the hard way. Looking up, Jane resisted the urge to say, "Uh-Oh" as he saw Cho rounding the corner. From the look on his face, he'd already heard the skuttlebutt and he was intent on checking the veracity of it. Catching his eye, Jane knew they were so busted before the Korean's eyes ever rose from Lisbon's belly to his finger.

Cho closed his eyes and wished to God he was dreaming. He'd been afraid of this for years. He'd just never believed it could happen. Lisbon was way to smart to tangle with Jane. Even if a part of her loved him. Even if a part of him loved her. He'd known that for years. Everyone had. But, Lisbon and Jane had seemed oblivious. Right. Like he'd really believed that either. They just hadn't been willing to act on it. Lisbon was too skittish about romance and Jane had unfinished business. Well, from the size of her belly, his old boss had gotten over her qualms and Jane had decided to live again.

"You have matching wedding bands." Leave it to Cho to notice what nobody else did. "Why didn't any of you idiots notice the rings instead of trying to figure out Lisbon's imaginary lover? It's not like they were trying to hide it."

Jane rolled his eyes at the Korean Agent. If any of their co-workers took offense at being labeled an idiot they weren't saying a word. Frankly, they were all probably feeling like idiots right about now. If this got out, they'd be the laughing stock of Law Enforcement. So much for being the best of the best. If an office of highly trained Agents couldn't figure out two of their co-workers had gotten hitched over the last three hours...

He'd leave the rest of that sentence unsaid.

"And you two," Cho turned his attention to them. "How stupid can you get?"

Quirking a brow, Jane was mildly surprised to hear the same sentiment echoed from across the room. Turning, he wasn't all that surprised to see Abbott standing in the midst of their co-workers looking none-too-pleased. It wasn't like he didn't recognize the voice. Taking Lisbon's hand in his, the Mentalist assumed the smart-assed, cheeky Jane expression their Boss expected as he rose to his feet and set his tea aside.

The dreaded "Pay-The-Piper" moment had finally arrived although Jane suspected it wouldn't be as bad as Lisbon expected. Or, it could be worse. Who knew? Abbott could be a tough cookie to read. He certainly wasn't getting a feel off his current Poker face.

However, he'd bet a dollar to a doughnut, the man already knew they were sneaking around for a little illicit hanky panky on the side. Not suspected. Actually knew. Even if he wouldn't admit it. Abbott was highly observant. He wouldn't be where he was if he wasn't. He was also smart enough to ignore headaches he didn't want to handle until he had to. Nobody really cared if they were getting it on behind closed doors.

Not until their private antics impacted their public lives.

He didn't have to be a Jane to know Lisbon's pregnancy met that condition and the crap just hit the fan.


End file.
